Check out more of Ellen Easton's Tea Travels™ articles and recipes.

Learn about the History of English High Tea and more delicious Afternoon Tea and High Tea Recipes.
 

It's summer and many have more leisure time to take classes or think of career changes. Over the past two decades, many people have asked "how can I become a tea or etiquette consultant?" or stated that they had taken courses, either from the Internet, mail order or schools and were now diploma credentialed, certified consultants, but were still seeking my "how to" advice because they felt the courses were not to their satisfaction.

It pains me to see hard working people and hospitality venues spending money on programs filled with incorrect protocols, as it is not only a disservice to the client, but to the entire industry as a whole.


Buyer-beware!

Just because a person or institution has a high profile, TV presence, books with pretty pictures, attends trade shows, or an attractive advertising campaign does not necessarily mean they are providing accurate information or are the best teachers.

I am continually astonished to witness, at times even from those calling themselves etiquette experts, the animosity that some exhibit towards those who do have good manners, going so far as to equate well mannered behavior as pretentious.  Social protocols are not a free for all. There is nothing pretentious about good behavior or being considerate of others.

I am equally astonished to see historical references applied to the rules of etiquette and dining that, in fact, have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the evolution of the table.  The rules are borne from practical reasoning, not whimsy, nor to make others feel ill at ease. There are actual reasons as to why a table is set in a particular fashion and service is conducted in a particular style.

I am beyond appalled that many fine dining establishments have taken to reinvent the table setting placements. When I recently asked one five star hotel why the utensils were all out of order on the table I was told by management they are doing so because "today, so many diners do not know how to use utensils. We just place them where they can pick them up."  (Oh gosh yes, bring me some smelling salts!)

Before signing on for an expensive program, do your homework, consider the source and question the background and credentials from whence the information is provided.  Be wary of those using European titles, as very few Americans hold titles and none, to the best of my knowledge, are teaching etiquette.  It takes more than one to three days, marketing skills and a piece of paper to have real credentials.

A professional consultant's responsibility is not without challenges, as it constitutes more than telling others what to do. The information a consultant conveys is an accumulation of learning and knowledge, combined with lifetime experience. 

It is wonderful when an establishment follows the guidance and a puzzlement when it is ignored by unfounded standards set by management. Truth be told, I have one luxury client that will not serve a soup bowl on a plate because the plate costs too much money.

A consultant can be proud when a client follows the given advice. However, once a consultant leaves the premise and no longer has a watchful eye, despite the lack of quality control the risk of blame runs high.  One can lead a horse to water, but cannot make it drink.
 

Biggest Mistakes to Avoid: